Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review

It was better than the last one.  And really, isn't that all we can ask for?

Although for the most part Transformers: Dark of the Moon follows the same robot wars template as the previous two installments, you're not left with the stench that was blatantly apparent after the the second (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen).

Yes a lot of the reviews weren't great, but Dark of the Moon is pulling in a massive amount of cash that proves that people don't care about reviews, they just wanted to see the Transformers again and they didn't want it to suck like the second one did.  The movie succeeds in that regard.

Optimus?  Is this going to suck?  No Sam.  Not like the last time.

If you're looking for depth or a deep emotional connect, you're seeing the wrong movie.  Transformers 3 is like the most beautiful girl you've ever seen in your life who brings absolutely nothing else to the table other than her beauty.  She can't hold a conversation.  She has no life goals.  Probably hasn't talked to her father in years, but who cares?  Why?  Because she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen.  You're going to stick around and see what happens and not let a little thing called depth of character get in the way.  And you'll keep coming back, until she know longer wants you or Rosario Dawson calls.  Whichever happens first.  Long story short, the move looks great and is worth a viewing.

And speaking of beautiful girls, kudos to director Michael Bay for not making us give a crap that Megan Fox isn't in the movie.  Apparently she pissed off Bay and Steven Spielberg and was told to kick rocks.  Enter Rose Huntington Whitely, a Victoria Secret supermodel who I'm assuming Bay met when he directed a Victoria Secret commercial (Sidenote: Nice life huh?  Excuse me, I'm gonna take a break from blowing stuff up in my movies to go film a Vicky Secret commercial of girls running around in their underwear).

I was very skeptical of this move from the beginning.  Thinking that Victoria Secret models make good actresses is exactly why we have The Tyra Banks show.  While I'm on that subject, having one of the world's nicest set of natural breast and nice eyes doesn't mean you're the next Oprah, especially if every time you try to help someone, you end up talking about yourself.  Ok, back to the review.

I went into this movie thinking Huntington Whitely would be nothing more than eye candy, and even though she was, she came off as very likable and actually did a fairly decent job acting.  But make no mistake, she's the eye candy.  Her introduction scene will go down as one of my all-time favorite intros for a female lead in a movie.  Kudos to Bay for that camera work.

As for Huntington Whitely's boy toy Sam (Shia LeBeouf), well he's recovering just fine from a break up with Megan Fox's character (whatever her name was in the movie) and is now dating Huntington Whitely (whatever her name is in the movie).  He's saved the world twice and is hoping to find a job before his parents get into town (apparently they're still spending government hush money and traveling the world in a big bus).  I will say, the relationship between Sam and his parents has always provided the funniest moments for this franchise and this time is no different.  When Sam starts having girl trouble again his mother tells him he'd better get it together because he'd be a fool to think he'll be able to bag a hot girl for a third time in a row.  Funny stuff this scene, I won't ruin the rest.

The bots?  I can honestly say I enjoyed every second they were on screen.  Both Autobots and Decepticons.  Whether they were discussing tactics or blowing each other to pieces.  Prime and Bumblebee leading the way for the good guys and Megatron and Starscream at each others throats as always (I am glad they picked up this part of their relationship from the cartoon).  Shockwave came off as the closest thing to a robot on steroids and just the fact that Laserbeak was in the movie at all was a huge treat for all the Soundwave fans out there (yes he's back to, and boy does he do a good job of spying as always).

Overall?  I enjoyed it.  It wasn't perfect.  It won't leave you speechless.  But it's enjoyable.  And if a movie is going to be over two and a half hours long, it had better be that.  Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to saving for my Camaro.  I give it eight power rings out of ten.